Used To
by Sasha.Rizzoli
Summary: Songfic for 'Used To' by Daughtry. Elliot's and Olivia's partnership and friendship are going down the gurgler. Elliot tries to repair it, but what is Olivia hiding? EO. A couple of people requested this to be longer, so i've added another chapter.
1. Used To

**A/N: Here's yet another songfic. I hope you like it!**

'**Used To' by Daughtry.**

**I own nothing!!**

**You used to talk to me like I was the only one around**

**You used to lean on me….the only other choice was falling down**

**You used to walk with me like we had nowhere we needed to go**

Elliot and Olivia were driving back to the precinct, the only noise in the car was coming from the radio, Elliot stopped at the red light and looked aver at his silent partner in the passenger side for a second, before looking back at the road and beginning to drive when the light turned green. Olivia had her head leaning on the window, but she was wide awake just watching the road in front of her.

Olivia had been snappy and withdrawn for about a month and every time Elliot tried to ask her what was wrong, she would just snap at him. He remembered the first time he noticed something was wrong with her.

Flashback

_Olivia and Elliot were finishing up their DD5s, when Elliot looked at her, noticing something had been bothering her all day._

"_What's up, Liv?"_

_Olivia looked up from her paperwork. "Nothing" she simply replied, before going back to her paperwork._

"_Liv…."_

_Olivia stood up angrily, sending her chair flying backwards and on to the floor. "Just back off would you?!" she yelled with tears in her eyes._

_Elliot just sat there in shock, as he watched her grab her purse and run out of the squad room and out of the precinct._

_End flashback_

He had decided not to follow her, knowing she needed sometime alone. He couldn't understand, why or what she was hiding, since they usually tell each other everything. That's what best friends do.

**Nice and slow, to no place in particular**

**We used to have this figured out**

**We used to breathe without a doubt**

Later that day, Elliot sat at his desk remembering when they used to tell each other everything, and help each other through each other's problems. He remembered one day in particular, when she walked in to the squad room one morning, really cheery.

"What's up, Liv?" he asked when he saw the huge smile on her face and her eyes lit up.

"Ah nothing much, El" she replied laughing as she sat at her desk.

"Nah, seriously, Liv. I want to know what's got you smiling that big gorgeous smile of your's"

She pulled some stray hair back behind her ear. "I've found the nicest guy. He's perfect"

Elliot was jealous deep down, but he was happy for her, more so. She deserved to be happy. But that relationship only lasted about 3 months, before he broke it off with her, because of the hours she worked. Elliot was there the whole time helping her pick up the pieces of her broken heart once again. But that was the last time, she told him anything.

**When nights were clear you were the first star that I'd see**

**We used to have this under control**

**We never thought……We USED TO KNOW**

Elliot thought about after so many years of being partners, they could always anticipate what the other was thinking. And they used to have everything under control.

_Flashback_

"_You go that way, Liv…."_

"_And you'll go down the alley" she finished off his sentence._

"_Yep" he replied and the 2 detectives ran their separate ways._

_They successfully blocked off the prep half way down the alley, Elliot got him on the ground with his arms behind his back, as Olivia instantly cuffed him._

_They had the situation under control, only because they could anticipate what the other was thinking, so no words were needed to be spoken, they just knew what to do._

_End flashback_

**At least there's you and at least there's me**

**Can we get this back, can we get this back**

**To how it used to be**

**I used to reach for you when I go lost alone the way**

**I used to listen you always had the just right thing to say**

**I used to follow you, never really cared where we would go**

Elliot got up from his chair behind his desk and went up to the roof top to find Olivia leaning on the edge looking down, crying. She heard him but didn't look around.

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle; she turned around in his arms and cried in to her best friend's chest. "I'm so sorry, El"

He kissed her head. "For what, Liv?"

"For bring rude, snappy and withdrawn the last month"

"It's fine, Liv. I forgive you. But please tell me what is bothering you"

Olivia pulled away to looked at him in his icy blue eyes and sighed as he wiped away her tears.

"I- I'm sick, El"

"What kinda sick, Liv?"

"I have a brain tumour, El"

"Oh my God, Liv! I'm here for you. I always will be. Is –is it operatable?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes, it's scheduled for next week"

"I'll be there"

"What about Kathy and the kids?"

"They'll be fine, you need me right now" he said as he hugged his best friend tighter.

She rested her head in to his chest again and sobbed some more.

She had felt bad for hiding something from him, especially that serious, but now he knew and she felt relieved. Everything was back under control between them, now she just had to get through this and she was certain that she would, with Elliot by her side.

**Fast or slow to anywhere at all**

**(chorus)**

**I look around and I want you to be there**

'**Cause I miss the things that we shared**

**Look around you- it's empty and you're sad**

'**Cause you miss the love that we had**

**You used to talk to me like I was the only one around……**

**(chorus)**

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**Please review and let me know what you think!**


	2. Olivia's Surgery

**A/N: A couple of people requested it to be longer, so I decided to write another chapter, the day of Olivia's operation. Things maybe not be medically correct, but it's my story, so it's my way! Lol!**

**Please read and review.**

The day of Olivia's operation, had come and she was so nervous.

She didn't sleep much the night before because when she did, she kept dreaming that she died or was left as a vegetable. And she couldn't live like that.

She was dressed and ready by the time Elliot came to pick her up at 8am.

"Hey Liv, you didn't sleep much last night did ya?" he asked concerned when he saw the big black bags under her eyes as they got in to his car.

She shook her head and sighed as she leaned her head against the window.

Elliot got in to the car and started the engine and pulled away from the curb.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll be there the whole time for you. I promise I won't leave"

Olivia sighed. "You can't promise that. What about Kathy and the kids?"

"She wasn't very happy about it, but I have already told her that I won't leave you"

"El, I'm a big girl"

"Liv, I'm not going to leave you"

Olivia sighed and nodded, not feeling well enough to argue with her best friend. She knew how much for cared for her.

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When they pulled in to the hospital car park, Elliot looked at Olivia; he saw the unshed tears in her eyes. He got out the car shutting the door behind him, before helped Olivia out and held her close, after locking the car.

He rubbed soothing circles on her back, as she cried. "It's ok, Liv. You'll get through this"

"What if I don't, El? What if I die?" she sobbed in to his chest.

The pair stood there in silence, other then Olivia's sobbing, until her sobs subsided about 10 minutes later. "Are you ready now, Liv?"

Olivia nodded and Elliot guided her inside with his arm around her waist, he noticed how tensed and frightened she was and didn't blame her, he would be scared too, if he was going in for Brain Surgery. Luckily she was having the Trans-Nasal surgery, so they weren't opening up her skull.

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At about 9:49am, Olivia was taken in to surgery, she was going to say goodbye to Elliot, but he wouldn't allow a goodbye, because he was certain she would pull through.

"Good---" Olivia began to say as they wheeled her toward surgery.

"No, Liv. Not goodbye. See ya later. You will pull through, you're strong"

Olivia nodded as her unshed tears finally began to run down her cheeks. "See ya later, El. I have something to confess…."

"Liv, you can tell me later"

"No, I wanna say it now just in case…… I love you Elliot Stabler, I always have and always will"

Elliot kissed the hand of her's that he was holding. "I love you too, Liv. I will see you after you come out of surgery" he said and then they took her through the doors to surgery.

He wasn't allowed to go any further, so he went to the waiting room, and called Casey on the public phone.

"Casey Novak"

"Hey Casey, it's Elliot"

"Oh my God, is Liv ok?"

"They just took her in. They said the surgery could last 10 hours or more, it's hard to tell" he tried to talk normally, holding back his tears.

He couldn't lose Olivia. His best friend. His partner. He loved her too much to lose her and Kathy hated that he was so close to her. She had even threatened him with divorce the night before, but he wasn't going to tell Olivia because she would blame herself and it wasn't her fault.

"Ok, I'm coming down Elliot. I'm gonna wait with you. We can't lose her, Elliot" Casey began to cry as she thought of the worse that could happen to her best friend.

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Casey came running in to the waiting room about 35 minutes later, to find Elliot sitting there with his head in his hands. She could tell instantly how worried he was. He was worried just as much as she was. She sat beside him and placed a caring hand on his shoulder. He looked up and she could see his unshed tears.

She was trying to hold back her own tears in worry. "Do you want some coffee?"

He nodded, but didn't speak a word.

"Ok, I'll be right back" she whispered and went off to the kiosk.

She returned about 10 minutes later, to find Elliot pacing around the waiting room. She passed him his coffee.

"Thanks" he said and Casey slightly smiled.

"Has something happened?" she asked concerned.

Elliot shook his head. "No. I just couldn't sit there any longer. I need to see her. I need to know she's ok"

Casey nodded. "I know, I know" she whispered as she wrapped an arm around Elliot and gave him a friendly hug, which he accepted.

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Meanwhile in Operating Room 2.

"We've got a bleeder. Suction" Dr Kingston, the surgeon spoke.

The nurse gave him the suction.

"She's losing pressure, Doctor"

"Damn it! There's a bit more here then we thought"

Olivia's monitor began beeping rapidly

"We're losing her, Doctor"

"Hang on, hang on, I've found it….Oh great this is gonna take longer then I thought"

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Ten hours went by and Elliot, Casey, Cragen, Fin and Munch were all still waiting in the waiting room. They hadn't heard anything and were very concerned. Elliot was losing his patience, he was pacing around and they could see his anger.

"Calm down, Elliot" Cragen said.

"Calm down?! Calm down?! How can I calm down when my best friend has been in surgery for more then 10 hours and I haven't heard how she is. I need to know she's alive. I need to know that she's alright and is gonna pull through this. I promised her that she would. I love her too much to lose her" That last sentence slipped out before he could even stop himself.

He covered his mouth and was about to walk away, but he then saw Olivia's doctor come out and walking up to them.

"Are you all here for Olivia Benson?" The tall, muscly balding man surgeon asked.

"Yes we are" Cragen answered for them all.

"Has she got any family to contact?"

"No she doesn't. But I'm her next of kin" Elliot said.

"Well, I'll talk to you in private"

Elliot shook his head. 'Whatever needs to be said, they should be allowed to hear. We're all her family"

The doctor nodded in understanding. "Ok, she made it through, but we almost lost her a couple times. We removed the whole tumour, so hopefully she'll make a full recovery"

Elliot nodded. "Can we go see her?"

"Yes, but only two at a time at the moment, she's still in recovery and she's still asleep"

Elliot nodded then turned to his work colleagues. "Ok, Captain you go in first, then John and Fin and then Casey and I will go in last"

They all nodded in understanding and took their turns seeing Olivia, even though they were told she was still asleep.

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Elliot and Casey's turn finally came.

They walked in to see Olivia lying there; she was so pale and looked so tiny in the bed. They couldn't believe that, that was Olivia Benson, the tough female detective, which they all knew so well. Their best friend. The tough detective looked so vulnerable and sick.

Elliot and Casey sat on either side of the bed and each held one of her hands. Elliot kissed the hand that he was holding and looked up at her pale face, to see her eyes fluttering. She was waking up.

"Liv, honey, wake up. That's it, you can do it, open your eyes. Casey and I wanna see your beautiful chocolate brown eyes" he encouraged in a whisper.

"Yeah, Liv. We need to know you're all right" Casey whispered as she saw Olivia opened one eye half way.

She then slowly opened the eye right up and opened the other eye, before looking at Elliot.

"Hey" he whispered.

"Hey, I've got a headache" she whispered in a raspy voice. Her throat was dry.

Elliot passed her his bottle of water, with a straw in it and she took a sip.

"Thanks" she whispered then looked at Casey. "Hey Case"

"Hey, Liv. We're so glad you're awake"

Olivia smiled, and was about to say something, but the doctor walked in.

"Hello Olivia, nice to see you awake"

"I've got a headache"

"Ok, well I'll get you some more morphine, and it should take away the pain" he said then looked at Elliot and Casey. "Sorry, you'll have to go now"

Elliot shook his head as he held on tight to Olivia's hand. "Can I please stay?" he begged.

Olivia even looked at the doctor, begging and the doctor caved in. "Ok, I'll arrange a private room, so you can stay with her"

"Thank you" Elliot said.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Liv" Casey said as she stood.

"Yeah, thanks for sticking around, Case"

"No problem" she replied as she gave Olivia a hug and left.

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A couple hours later, Olivia had been moved in to a normal hospital room. Elliot lay on the bed with Olivia in his arms as she slept. She looked so peaceful in her sleep.

Elliot moved some hair out of her face and kissed her on the cheek as he watched her sleep.

He was so glad that she had pulled through, and was expected to make a full recovery. He didn't know what he would do if he lost her. His love for Kathy had long gone, but his love for Olivia was growing each and every day.

He truly believed that he had found his soul mate, if though he never used to believe in soul mates before. But Olivia helped him to believe.

He watched Olivia sleep in the comfort and safety of his arms until exhaustion took over and he fell asleep himself.

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**Well ****I hope you enjoyed it, please review!!!**


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